A Me That I Thought I Had Lost.

March 13 Saturday

So today I was invited out by Alan to go with him, Megan, and 2 other Asahikawa ALTs to go out for dinner. I spent the day doing absolutely nothing except lounge around and watch TV and eating...lol But at around 6pm I left my place to drive to Asahikawa to meet them. Well, it was blizzarding outside and I couldn`t see the road...so it wasn`t the most pleasant drive. But I got there safely, picked up Alan, and went to go meet the other girls at the train station. So we all piled into my little car-I`m assuming it was a lil tight in the back seat lol-and decided to go eat some soup curry.

OMG, this was like the best soup curry I`ve ever had. It was so delicious and wonderful and freakin spicy. It was so spicy I immediately started sweating upon having 2 spoons of it. lol But delicious regardless. I also really liked the decor. It had a bunch of post war memorabilia, like posters of old movies, bottle caps, and candy wrappers hung on the walls. It was so cute! The outside of it though looked just like a house. Like, seriously, it was even in the smack dab middle of the residential area. When my friends was trying to guide me to it, I was like..."Are you sure it`s here? Cuz it looks like it`s all just houses..." lol And it would not be allowed in the states. haha. But it was delicious and we had a grand old time of it.

Afterwards we went to karaoke at Oedo. And it was packed with people that night. But we managed to get a small room with the TV really close to us and with awesome decor. The interior looked like the set of an sci-fi action movie. The walls looked like they were made of grey rock tiles screwed in by large screws. The wall which held the TV actually had a black fence that kept you away from the strange mechanisms and electric wires on the other side. And there was an emergeny door that had caution tapes haphazardly pasted every where on it. We were, however, wondering if that was actually for real or if it just goes with the decor. But it was sooo cool! I love karaoke in Japan. haha.

We sang until midnight and I dropped everyone off and decided to head on home....at like 2am. Not so smart of me as I should have stayed at Alan`s and spent the night there instead of driving an hour in the blizzard home. I was already starting to feel sleepy halfway home and I was in a state of barely consciousness. In between heavy half-lidded eyes I could see that my car was drifting towards the left side a little. When I made myself fully conscious again I realized I was coming on to a snow covered side walk very fast. My car bumped up on to the sidewalk fast enough to cause my little kei (super light) car to almost flip over. And it freaked the hell out of me. But I was able to get it back onto the main road without any further incidences. Needless to say, that woke me up and I didn`t lose consciousness for the rest of the way home...=P

March 14th Sunday

Happy White Day!! Although I forgot to give people chocolate on Valentine`s day so I`m not expecting anything. haha.

March 15th Monday

Last day teaching my Sakura-gumi 5-6 year old babies. I love these kids and will miss being able to teach them because I don`t teach 1st or 2nd grade kids. Only 3rd and up. So I just basically played alot of games with them. That`s all I did with them that day. haha. Then, despite not having class at the elementary that day I still went and just sat in the teacher`s lounge minding my own work. However, at around 3pm, all the teachers and the 5th graders all gathered in the gym to help setup for the graduation ceremony this coming friday. It was actually pretty fun to work with everybody. But kinda tiring and my arms got a pretty good workout from carrying 4 heavy chairs (the kind you can fold up to put away to save space) down from the second floor to the gym about 3 times. The walk`s quite far and the chairs were really heavy. My biceps were pretty sore afterwards. =P

I was also able to see Mr. Wonderful. Although we didn`t really talk too much because we were both busy helping the kids setup stuff. Although in the end when he came closer to me after we all finished with our work and the kids went home, I asked him about his cell email address. I couldn`t send him a message because it didn`t work. He said, "Yappari, it was a hypen and not an underscore..." I told him that it was okay and to just tell me his email when he can. He said he couldn`t go out to dinner tonight either, even though I didn`t ask him that. But I could tell he was sorry. I took it really casually and just told him it`s no problem.

Actually, I`ve been feeling pretty casual about the whole thing lately and my confidence in myself has gone up. I no longer flutter and forget things when I`m around him and am able to speak properly and with strength in my voice (not the meek lil thing that I do around Japanese people). It`s all thanks to my wonderful friends` support and belief in who I really am that I feel super proud to be the me I am now. So in my mind and heart, when I`m talking to people now, I talk with confidence and strength and pride. I like who I am, and if other people don`t like me for myself, then they`re not people I need to focus on or particularly befriend. So same goes for Mr. Wonderful. As great and wonderous as he is, if he doesn`t like me for me then I was not meant to date him. Even if he rejects me when I confess, I feel like it`s not going to be so bad because it just meant that he`s not the guy for me at the moment and I`ll either find someone better or there might be a chance with him in the future if I can stay friends with him. So yeah.

March 16th Tuesday

Today I just spent the whole day at the elementary school, playing with my kids and making cookies, cakes, donuts, pudding with my 6th graders. Today was their mini at school graduation party. They invited all the teachers to the music room and had tables and chairs set up with all the amazing sweets that these kids had made on top. It was so much fun and the sweets were delicious. I was so proud of them. The kids sang a very cute song at the end and the kids were so funny too. Loved them, but then again, they`re wonderful like that every day.

After all that was over and I went back to the teacher`s lounge and then I decided to go find Mr. Wonderful to address the not being able to message him and whether or not he would like to have dinner Wednesday night. So I went into his classroom with assurity and confidence and genkiness and was able to talk to him normally, like I talk with my friends. I spoke to him mainly in English, so here we go: "Mr. Wonderful? Sorry for interrupting you, but are you still okay for dinner Wednesday night?" "Ah, that`s right. Hmm...." (he was trying to figure out if Wednesday was ok or not) Me: "You still don`t know yet?" "Yeah, sorry." "No problem. Hmm...how about if you message me about tomorrow whether you can or not? And if you are too busy tomorrow night then we can always go for lunch on a weekend or something. Just message me about it." "Oh okay! Oh, but could you write down your cell email address again? I`m sorry, but I lost it." "Yeah sure!" (He handed me a piece of paper to write on and we were silent for a while as I wrote.) I told him, "I tried messaging you, but it didn`t go through last time." "Oh yes, then it really must`ve been wrong then. Sorry about that." "No worries. So if you can email me, then I can just find your address via that." "Yeah, I will. My email address starts with a `maestro` so when you see that, it`s from me." "Alright! Then I will wait for that email. Thank you!" "You`re welcome." And I turned and walked out of the classroom.

I have to say, I felt pretty good with that convo because I was able to talk to him without blanking out for the first time and with casuality. haha. =P Now, whether he actually texts me about dinner Wednesday night is another thing. He might pull a "Oh sorry, I was busy and was unable to go out and kind of forgot to message you" on me and then I think I might get the hint from that, although I dislike it when people keep postponing things instead of directly saying "I don`t want to go." It may sound like you`re being nice, but trust me, it actually hurts more than saying it directly because one keeps hoping instead of knowing.

So after that I went to the nurse`s office to chat with the nurse (not Yuki, but equally wonderful to talk to) I got roped in to helping her finish her graduation banner for the 6th graders. Actually, 10 minutes in to helping her she said she had to leave and asked if I could just do what I can and continue cutting the paper sakura and pasting them onto the banner. I like arts and crafts stuff, so I was more than happy to help. But then I realized afterwards that I think I might`ve been used. haha. I knew she wanted to go home, but couldn`t until she did majority of the banner. So she left the rest up to me. haha. I didn`t mind, I actually thought it was funny. Yuki was going to help me as well, but ended up having to go home early so wasn`t able to help at all. haha. She apologized though. =P So in the end, it was just me in the nurse`s office on my own cutting 50 something sakura flowers and pasting them on to the banner. Actually originally I was cutting them one by one, then thought what a waste of time it was to cut them one by one like that, so folded up all the paper and cut out about 100 of them after 6 cuts. Then pasted, and finished within an hour, whereas I think it would`ve taken me 3 hours without the folding....lol

Tonight was the BOE casual dinner at the best BBQ/Yakinku place in town. I got there right on time, thinking I`d be late. And I get there, and no one`s there....But after a little bit my predecessor came in and the others soon followed. (My pred`s here for a week and actually left this [Wednesday] morning). We had a wonderful and super fun dinner that lasted quite a while. Then afterwarads went to go to the bar next to me apt for drinking and karaoke. That was hilarious actually. The guys started dancing to songs and singing all weird and then everyone tried to translate the song as we sang...that was pretty funny. Anyways, a good night, but I smell like Yakinku and cigarettes...eww... I need to wash my jacket somehow...get rid of the smell. >.<

So here`s to hoping that Mr. Wonderful will somehow contact me about dinner or lunch or something. And then I can finally know what`s going on. If not, then maybe he`s not the guy I`m supposed to date...heh.

Otsukare for reading!

What should I be feeling...?

March 5 Friday

So today at the middle school was pretty fun. After lunch was over, all the students gathered in the gym for a game to play in honor of the 3rd years graduating. I wasn`t exactly sure what game we were playing, but I just followed along. It seems that the students have a time limit to find all the pictures that are hidden throughout the school. Once that 1st time limit is up, then they send a certain amount of people who are the "oni" or those who are "it" out to catch the other students. They`re allowed to go hide and stuff throughout the school, but they cannot run, so they speedwalk. lol It was pretty funny to see. haha. Anyways, after that game they then had to do a triatholon in which they played mini games of ping pong, basketball, and group jump rope.

March 6th and 7th Saturday and Sunday

Saturday, went to Asahikawa to have an awesome lunch with Su. We drove around awhile looking for a good place to go eat and decided to eat at this place called "Kankoku-mura" which means Korean village. And it was the first time, in a long time (say a year) that I had real Korean food and not just Japanese bibimbap (which btw, they think is Chinese.....>.<) or kimchi or kalbi/bulgogi. It was soooo good! The place was even decorated Korean style and everything. I hardcore missed sundubu and they totally had it there! Yes! Although I still really miss Irvine`s sundubu/Korean restaurants. Even more then that, I miss Korea, my other homeland aside from US, Taiwan, and Japan. haha. We talked for several hours and then went to go get my back breaklight fixed because the one on the left had gone out. Then went home to do absolutely nothing.

Sunday was just talking with family (which they are planning on coming here in the summer! Yay!) and cleaning the house.

March 10 Wednesday

Wow. So this day was the middle school 3rd years (9th graders) graduation. And it was so formal and very Japanesey. lol Well, first off, when I went into the teacher`s office all the teachers were wearing black. Just all black; black suits, black dresses, black shoes, black purses. And I was the only one who had a navy blue suit jacket with really thin white stripes and a red tank top underneath. I felt like I had walked into a funeral procession of sorts. So I asked one of the teachers here if I should also be in all black, but she says that I`m fine and that for happy celebrations like this Japanese people always wear black. Err...ok. o.O

Anyways, my predecessor also came to the celebration. He flew here from the states a couple of days ago to come see the 3rd years graduate since he was with them the longest. I think that maybe he secretly came to see his girlfriend who was a teacher at the middle school.......=P I was actually slightly, slightly late for the ceremony. All because I forgot my schedule book in the staff room so I had to run back from the gym to get it. eheh. But I still made it on time before the 3rd years came walking in and the band started playing the graduation song. There was so much bowing and strict formal tradition in this whole process. The students have to have a very good posture while walking to their seats or walking up to the stage/podium to accept their certificate from the principal. Bow once before the principle, accept the certificate, step back, bow again, take one step back and turn to face the audience, walk down the stairs, bow to the BOE on the opposite side of the teachers, walk to their parents (where a little white table was set up where the parents go up to the table when their child comes), bow to their parents, hand over the certificate to them, bow again, and walk with good posture back to their seats... I was quite surprised actually. But amazed at the good discipline of these kids.

Then afterwards, when the 3rd year students` representatives, one boy and one girl, came to the front to give a speech to everyone, it was the most heartwrenching sobfest ever! Because this is a small school and there is only 1 class for every grade level (no 3A, 3B, 3C. Just 3A cuz there`s not that many students that they all fit in one class), and because they`ve all been together for 9 years of their lives never changing classes and some have been together since preschool, this is the first time that they will be seperated from each other. All the students are going to different high schools as all the high schools here are like specialty schools. My best English speaking student is going all the way to Sapporo in the best language school there. So, because this is the first time they`re going to be leaving each other, they have so much precious memories together, that everyone started crying. The students made a speech to thank all the teachers, all the younger students, and lastly, their precious classmates. I told myself I wasn`t going to cry, but I ended up doing so. It was just so touching. I felt like this was an US high school graduation where that was the final stage for everyone leaving each other and going to different schools/countries.

After the speech, the 3rd years sang a chorus song for everyone. They had one student come play the piano and one student conduct. Now, everyone was still crying/sniffling from the speech and one of the boys, the conductor, was red from crying and couldn`t stop sniffling really. So when he got up there, he tried to look strong and hold it all back, but as soon as the song started because it was such a sad sounding song and to look at all your friends crying, he couldn`t hold it in any longer and tears started pouring from his face, yet he still conducted wonderfully. He actually had to close his eyes for a while because he couldn`t stop crying. It was, seriously, one of the most touching and heartbreaking graduation ceremonies I`ve ever been to. When asked later by my teachers about how was a Japanese graduation compared to American ones, I said that the American ones are usually a big celebration and everyone`s just ridiculously happy and having fun, especially college ones. The high school one is probably the only really tearing one because that`s when everyone really seperates. But middle school was never that bad. But then again, most schools in America are big and graduating classes are about 300 and more students. This school only had 25 students graduating. Yeah, the whole 3rd year (9th grade) consists of only 25 students.

After the sobfest, the students and their parents went to the Lakeside Sakuraoka hotel to have a party. The teachers also all went. It was a buffet style lunch, which was absolutely delicious, and then the kids all performed songs and just had fun. Then the MC called up all the teachers to make speeches. I was last and I was ready to give a good speech in English. It was simple slow English so that everyone, even the parents who have not studied English in forever can understand. Although i got a bit excited. haha. I started out with "minna (everyone) CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!" Everyone thought I was going to speak Japanese, but I busted out the English. heh. At the congratulations part all my students whooped and clapped and yelled. And I couldn`t help it, I got caught up in their enthusiasm, and let my American self go and also whooooooooooooo-ed into the mic. ehehe. I`m sure the other teachers were a little taken aback. But the kids were all for it. haha. I told them "your English is very good! So in high school, good luck! I believe in you. You can do it! Yes, you can!" And my students whooped again after that. And then I realized afterwards, oh, maybe I shouldn`t have did the whoop thing, cuz that might`ve scared the other teachers for a little bit. ehehe. Ah well, I`m American, let them just think that. Or at least I hope they`ll think that. ~_~;

After the ceremony we all went home and went to ponder about how I`m going to confess to Mr. Wonderful. I had already decided that I will confess to him on Wednesday night because that is the only night that I believe he will be alone in the classroom. Thursday night there will be other teachers there till late in the evening, and Friday night, he probably goes home early. So I decided to go at around 8pm. I went over there and saw that there were still 3 other cars there. So I went back home and decided to come over at 9pm, other teachers were still there. Went back home again, tried 10pm, and there was still at least one teacher there. So in the end after driving around for another 10 minutes I decided that I would just go in there, ask him to come out to talk in the hallway and confess to him there, as awkward and weird as it may be to the other teacher there. I got there ready to do it, then discovered that the lights were all off and all the cars were gone. *sigh* I had missed him by a couple of minutes. And I was so ready too....>.<; Man. I was thinking to myself how bad everything is turning out and decided to go home dejectedly.

At home, after having a good long talk with Collin about this mess, getting a guys POV, it made better sense to me to ask Mr. Wonderful out to dinner first before confessing. It`s better to confess in not a work environment. At school, it would be kind of awkward. Even though I would never really do that because I`m not really aggressive and I don`t like to take the initiative with a guy. But if I don`t, I won`t get my chance. And plus, he`s a Japanese guy, so unfortunately, being the foreign girl, I have to take the initiative... So I decided to do just that the next day.

March 11th Thursday

Well, I waited until the end of the day after 5th period to walk into his classroom to ask him to dinner. I was kind of nervous, but not as nervous as I was when I went to ask about the snowboard. I felt kind of....complacent..? Anyways, I walked in there, and as soon as I did, I forgot what I was going to say. And then I just stood there after saying hello to him and was like "oh no, I forgot what I was going to say...uh, hold on." And then finally was able to ask him about where he got placed in for his next school. He still doesn`t know yet apparetnly. Then I asked him are you always here until 9 or 10 at night which he says, "yes, just about every night." "Well then, what do you do about food?" "I go home to eat it afterwards." "At 10 at night?!!" "Yes. haha" "WOW." "Well, hmm...If you`re okay with it, how about dinner sometime? Maybe tonight? Or tomorrow?" "Uh, I`m pretty busy these last few days because of the graduation ceremonies coming up and everything." "Oh, yes, I understand. Then maybe next week? Monday?" "Mondays are not the best for me, tuesdays too. But maybe Wednesday might be ok." "Oh, alrgith then. Well, how about we exchange cell phone mail so that we can message each other a good time for it?" "Oh, yeah, sure that`d be fine."

So we exchanged cell phone mail addresses, but he said that his might be wrong because it`s so long that he can`t really remember it all himself. And indeed it was quite long. But he said that if it`s wrong and after he checks his email he`ll tell me again. Because neither of us had our phones on us since they were all in the staff room and we were in his classroom. So we chatted for 5 more minutes or so and then I told him I will text him and said thank you and left.

After school was over I went to the large playroom to see what my friend Yuki was doing. Her and my favorite "Winnie the Pooh-Kitagawa-sensei" and Mr. Wonderful were mixing paint to color the 6th grade graduation banner with. So I decided to help out to which Kitagawa-sensei was more than delighted. I love this man, my fav teacher here. SOOO Cute. Like a bear, and his voice sounds like Pooh too. heheh.^^ Well, he then left to go to do some other errands, and so it was jut me and the other two. I love chatting with Yuki because she`s so much fun and outgoing and happy and just a great gal all around. And it seems that Mr. Wonderful does too. He really liked to chat with her. All I could do, because I`m not yet fluent in Japanese, and it was difficult to hear everything spoken in normal speed Japanese, was just sit there, nod and occasionally laugh at their comments. I couldn`t really say anythnig because I wasn`t sure what they were saying. I did ask some questions but there were mainly about vocab and what the subject that they were talking about. It`s difficult to grasp subjects in japanese as they don`t really say them sometimes....

So after seeing them go at it with a wonderful fun time conversation, I realized how pitiful my Japanese level was and how inept at conversation I was in it. And how I could never have as lively a conversation as they could have together. He really laughed alot and had fun talking with her. And maybe, I got a sense that he might be into her. Maybe. I`m not sure, but judging by how wonderful the two of them seemed to go together and their convo, I`d say the two might do better together than I would, and that maybe he liked her. *sigh* I don`t know.

At the end of the day before I went home, I didn`t feel excited or exhilarated or accomplished at asking him out to dinner. I just felt....normal. I had a Parent-child English conversation class to do that night and it was the last of this year`s, so I focused on doing that. We made peanut butter balls and grilled cheese sandwiches. The kids had so much fun makin the peanut butter balls because you have to use your hands. And the moms loved the grilled cheese sandwiches. My kids said that they loved my class and they wanted to have more with me. When I told them no more, they were all pretty sad. Aww. I love my children. I think that maybe I should channel my love for Mr. Wonderful into the love that I have for these kids. It would maybe be put to better use instead of this futile lovesick feeling that might not amount to anything. Le sigh.

Otsukare for reading guys! Pics will be up later on. Love

I feel almost rejected....but I won`t give up yet!

Feb. 26th Friday

Today was a fun day with my mentally disabled kids` English class at my middle school. There`s only 2 kids so it`s a really relaxed fun atmosphere. Even the JTE (the Japanese teacher of English with whom I assist) was just weird and crazy. haha. We spent the class playing English games and then afterwards played on the giant yoga balls (or whatever those huge inflatable exercise balls are called)and lounged around. Haha. That was cool.

Feb. 27th Saturday

Today I was supposed to go to one of my high school teacher`s house to have lunch with his family because his wife invited me. I also teach his little baby boy at the nursery. Adorable and smart lil kid. His English is amazing! ^^ But I guess it helps that his parents also speak alot of it. However, I figured that it might not happen today since the high school`s graduation is the coming Monday so he might be busy. So instead, my supervisor and her family invited me to have shabu shabu lunch with them. I love her family, they`re so cute. From the first time I met them, I adored them, and was like "Yes, I can tell this is Su`s family." lol Her dad and mom really like me and think that I`m a good influence on Su. haha. I can cook, clean, drive her around everywhere, and compared to her, I have good fashion sense. =P So her family wants me to try and impart my style to her. LOL I personally love Su the way she is. She`s hilarious and an amazing friend here.

Anyways, we went to this Shabu Shabu restaurant that I thought was going to be tabehoudai (all you can eat) so I can stuff myself, but it turns out it was one of those order your own set places. And it was no ordinary set. It was a set where one plate of four slices of meat costs $36.00!!!!!! ONE PLATE, FOUR SLICES! $36.00!!! O.O!! I was like, "Damn, this is a freakin high class shabu place." I was content with ordering the cheapest plate of meat which was about $20.00/four slices cuz I didn`t want to be a rude guest and I didn`t want them to spend so much money on me since they`re paying. But her mom and dad were like, "One plate of meat is not enough, so let`s get one special plate ($36), one "moon" plate ($30), one "bamboo" plate ($28), and one sukiyaki set ($25)." WHOA. WHOA. That`s a lot of money for four plates of 16 slices of meat total. And this was just lunch! But you could tell the meat was very high end (I`m currently not remembering the English word for it). The most expensive one was very marbled and soft. All of the meat tasted delicious. But I still would`ve been okay with just plain all you can eat cheap meat...like the ones you can buy in grocery stores. haha. =)

I was fine with all this food already. And then, apparently, her family is used to drinking coffee after eating, so we ordered a thing of coffee each, and then ordered sherbets afterwards. These weren`t very cheap either. I tried to eat and drink everything slowly, savroing the flavor of expensiveness, of something I would never get for myself. But Su and her family just ate everything up really fast! lol I guess they`re used to eating rich. At the end of the lunch, I came to a conclusion: Su`s family is BALLER!! Yeah. Her dad is a tax collector and her mom works in an elderly care center in Asahikawa. But they seem to have a good life, and they`re well off... I was very appreciative of the food though. It was delicious.

Feb. 28th Sunday

Massive cleaning day. And then sat down to watch the last season of "Heroes".

March 1st Monday

I`ve been feeling pretty genki lately because of having been able to talk to Mr. Wonderful. But I wanted to leave him alone for a bit since he seems to be busy with things. So I decided to just mind my own business and let him talk to me when he can. After school today, though, he left to go help grab some panels to hang posters and stuff on for the elementary graduation ceremony. They asked us to help bring the panels in when they come back with them. So I did.

After all the panels were brought in and set up, Noso-sensei and I noticed that Mr. Wonderfurl`s fur on the hood of his jacket (oh Japaense guys with your fur hoods) was partially coming off. It was originally attached with buttons, but it apparently came loose. So we both said something to him about it at the same time and he tried to fix it himself which didn`t really work too well because he can`t see it. lol So Noso-sensei was like, "Theresa, go and fix it for him." Well, I said sure, but my heart was thumping a little because I had to get really close to him to fix it. It was right by his head after all. He`s a lot taller than I am, so he had to bend down a little for me to fix it for him. haha. He said "Thank you very much" to me which I responded, without being able to look at him because I was kind of embarrased, you`re welcome. And I missed my chance to talk to him afterwards because he was walking alone in front of my friends and I, and I decided to stay back to talk with my friends instead of talking to him. *sigh* I`m so stupid. Later, Yuki texted me and was like "It`s a good thing you were able to help him with his fur wasn`t it?" lol

March 2nd Tuesday

Hmm....today was an...interesting day. I was feeling damn genki. I taught my kids as usual and had an awesome fun lunch with my children with whom were very very talkative...and alot of it I really could not understand. They speak too fast in Japanese. haha.

After 5th period today I prepared myself to go talk to Mr. Wonderful about snowboarding. However, the snow was already melting, so I wasn`t sure if we would still be able to go. Yuki also worried for me. She told me that the best thing would be to invite him over to dinner...which I was a lil suspicious about. haha. Anyways, I got up my courage to ask him about it in his class. He was busy doing something and I felt terrible interrupting him. I was also nervous. But I went in there and asked him about the snowboard stuff. He said, "Oh yes, that`s right. The snow is kind of melting...why don`t we just cancel it, then? And, plus, I`ve been pretty busy lately." I answered, spitting these words out really fast since I was nervous, "Oh, yes, your busy? Then it`s totally fine. No worries. I`ll try on my own. Thank you!" "Sorry" "No, no problem!" And as I was backing out to leave the classroom, I turned a bit and hit the desk next to me and gave a surprised yelp and made a clang. It was pretty clumsy looking, I have to say. Mr. Wonderful asked if I was okay and I told him, "Yes! I`m fine! I`m perfectly fine!" and scuttled away... u_u; Man, that felt like a rejection...lol And even worse, I was not graceful with it.

*sigh* I felt terrible afterwards and wasn`t sure what to do...so I looked for Yuki to talk to about this. She was in the nurse`s office again so I went to go and talk to her. I told her everything that happened and she told me that the only thing I can do now, is invite him for dinner or stuff....which is really awkward for me. So we pondered on this stuff for a while. She said that, maybe, he already knew/noticed about my feelings. I am really obvious, she says. haha. Yeah, I`ve been told by people I`m really easy to understand and obvious... And by all the actions that I`ve done, it must be obvious. I prefer it if he kind of knew already. It makes things easier on me. And it shows him I`m acting weird and stupid around him because I like him, not because I`m normally like that...or am I? I then asked her if I should confess to him. She said I should because he`s leaving in 3 weeks and I will feel better about it too. I wasn`t sure if I should confess to him the day before he left or if I should do it next week. If I do it early and he likes me too, then we have some time to spend together. But if he doesn`t like me, it might be awkward at work because we see each other 3 times a week. I don`t want it to be awkward between us. If I confess before he leaves, if he doesn`t like me, then I won`t have to see him ever again! If he likes me...well, I don`t know.

I`m trying to lean on the more pessimistic side here with "maybe, he doesn`t like me" so that I don`t get my hopes up too high. I kinda have a feeling that maybe he really doesn`t have the same feelings for me. He`s just so much more mature like and he seems to be the type to go for older women or women who are more mature and lady like and graceful. I`m the more clumsy girl who likes to go have fun and have adventures and is far from graceful (I pop and lock and like to club ~_~) and I`m not yet ready to be so matronly yet. I don`t know. I don`t seem to be his type. But Yuki told me that you never know. That`s what I think, and not what he thinks. He could have a different mindset about me, you never know. So I am planning on confessing sometime next week in the evenings when I know he is alone at the school working until super late at night. It`d be awkward if there were other teachers around...

However, when I was about to go home, I decided I should go say thank you to him for trying with the snowboarding thing anyway. I didn`t want to give up just then from his earlier rejection. So I went in and told him thank you for trying and "If it`s possible, could you just give me advice and tips on riding the snowboard? I know you`re busy, so just when you have time and are able to. No rush" He said that yes, he would definitely try to get the stuff for me. And then I left. I felt a lot better after that talk with him. At least it wasn`t complete rejection of "no I don`t want to have anything to do with you.
March 3 Wednesday

Today I`m at the middle school, but I want to go to the elementary for a special ceremony they`re having today. It`s a ceremony for the 6th graders since they`re graduating and all the other grades are putting up some kind of show for them. Due to the unfortunate scheduling of my classes at the middle school I was unable to get to the elementary until 10:35 when it started at 10:15. But at least I saw a lot of it. I saw Mr. Wonderful too, but tried not to look at him. I was there for the kids. ^_^;

After that I was able to watch the ganbari happyokai that the elementary`s mentally disabled students put on. It was cute and they did such a good job! ^^ So proud of them! They even did a play in English! So proud, so proud. And then, due to unfortunate class scheduling again, I had to leave 10 minutes before it ended so I can get back to the middle school on time to teach the next class. Phew. It was frantic today. haha.

My 1st and 2nd year middle school kids are getting ready for the graduation ceremony for the 3rd graders today. Such busy lil bees.

I`ve been feeling oddly lightheaded lately. I`m not exactly sure what`s wrong and what`s going on, but it`s either my experiences with Mr. Wonderful that`s doing this to me, or other problems.... eh. But on the flip side, I am super genki lately, although tired. When I`m talking though, I`m super genki.

Otsukare for reading!

I did it! I brought out my courage! (via friends and liquid courage)

Feb. 19 Friday

So I was lucky enough to get out of work early today since my vice principal and other teachers were so nice about it. Yay! Yeah, I had a 3pm train to catch, so I had to leave 2 hours earlier than I usually would. I caught the 3pm train and bumped into one of my graduating high school girls. She`s one of the cutest and prettiest ones. And she`s very sweet. She was on her way home from school so we were headed in the same direction. We had a pleasant conversation (in Japanese) and we decided to exchange info. I told her if you ever want to come to CA, give me a ring because I`ll guide you around and let you stay with me. And she said she will definitely go because I`m there. hehe. It`s sweet because she`s moving in with her bf of 3 years after graduation. They both are planning on doing the same job, so it`s very convenient for them.

Anyways, I got off my train went to the bus station to catch the Lavender-Go bus to Furano. And it was a beautiful sight riding in the bus. The small towns and the nature outside was absolutely beautiful. Everything was covered in white and in the setting sun, the snow glowed a little orange. It was wonderful and made my heart feel at peace. I wanted to sleep before I got there, but I was just too taken by the sights that I couldn`t. Well, before long I arrived at my stop at 6pm and then trekked it 5 minutes up a hill to a cute lil hotel where the HAJET meeting was being held. Directly behind the hotel was the ski hill. The mountains were so beautiful and then lit up by the lights for night skiing makes for a good winter fun combo. heh.

I realized I was late for the 6:30pm HAJET workshop so I rushed to my comfy and quaint lil room that kinda smelled like cigarettes and went down to the meeting room. There were only about 10 people in there as others went out to go eat and stuff or haven`t really arrived yet. We did self intros and then watched the youtube sushi-ya thing. After that were 2 more workshops that I didn`t really need. eheh. Afterwards I was feeling hungry so I went back to my room to get my leftover onigiri and went to hang out in Erika and Nikki`s room. We sat around for awhile talking and then Erika and I decided to go to the hot springs in the basement of the hotel. The water wasn`t as hot as I would`ve liked it in a regular hot springs, but it was warm enough that I didn`t want to stay too long. But thanks to chatting with Erika about Mr. Wonderful I decided to gather my courage and do something about him because he`ll be leaving in about a month. Anyways, after that we went back to my room to hang and wait for Steph and her friend to arrive.

Erika`s room had 4 beds even though they only reserved the room for 2 people. And, since Steph`s friend was also going to be rooming in my room I decided to let him have the bed and went to sleep in Erika`s. The beds were comfy, although, the pillows were, like, half downe half beads....o.O

Feb. 20 Saturday

Got up and went down for a healthy breakfast full of chicken nuggets in the hotel restaurant. lol Then went to the HAJET meeting in which we were introduced to the new HAJET PC which Steph is the new secretary for! Yay! Go Steph! After the meeting we decided to head out for some light lunch at a cute and very smartly decorated cafe in front of the Furano train station. Furano is famous for their cheese and wine and so, of course they would have wine and cheese burgers. It was so huge, but so good. We got two different kinds and split it between the 4 of us. Erika went off to board so it was just me, Steph, Nikki, and Jonno. Afterwards we walked around and then got a taxi to go to the cheese factory. It was very cute looking from the outside, but not as exciting as I thought it would be. No one was really making cheese and non of the machines were moving or doing anythnig. But we saw black cheese! Apparently it was cheese made from squid ink, which, btw, tasted horrible because it was so crazily bitter and inky. We tried about 3 different cheeses that they had out and the wine cheddar was the best tasting. It had a subtle wine flavor to it. I also bought onion cheese cuz that just sounded good.

I then bought an ice cream cone topped with two flavors of corn and cheese ice cream. I was being adventurous, and, besides, I really like trying out wierd things. (but I am going to have to draw the line at bugs. The things freak me out) The cheese one was cheesy alright, but I felt like I was eating cheesecake. So nothing to freaky about it, but the corn, man, if you ate the corn flavored one, it was definitely corn. There were even pieces of corn in there. It reminded me of eating cream of corn. They were good though. We had wanted to make ice cream and cheese and stuff, but because it costs so much money to make it that we would rather save we didn`t do it. We ran into a bunch of other JETs visiting the place as well and then decided to go to the various omiyage(souvenir) shops to buy stuff. I found a bunch of random flavored candy like beer and lavendar and potato caramels. I bought all of them except lavender. It disgusts me to have perfume flavored candy and makes me feel dizzy and nauseous. We went around to various souvenir shops. And then I found it, the most disgusting of all flavors for caramel: genghis khan. Genghis khan (not the famous warlord) but the food is what Hokkaido is really big on and pretty famous for. It`s basically yakiniku(BBQ)lamb. And it`s good. But having it as a caramel? OMG, I had to buy it. I`m a collector of weird candy flavors. I just buy them, but never really eat them and then give them out to unsuspecting house guests. And I gave one of them to each of my friends. It was damn horribly disgusting. From the first taste in your mouth to chewing it, it was just a horrible experience. The taste of meat in your mouth with caramel was just too horrid.

At around 5 we decided to walk back to the hotel from the station. And it takes about 30 minutes to walk there, which wouldn`t be so bad if it wasn`t in a blizzard! Man, that was bad, and we were walking against the wind. So imagine us in the bitter cold getting splashed by a torrent of snowflakes against our faces....lol Well, suffice it to say we were wet. We finally got back to the hotel and dried ourselves off to get ready for the enkai tonight. The enkai was at an awesome place called Irohanihoheto. The seats were the style where it`s tatami, but there is a carved out area underneath the table to put your feet into so that it`s not constant kneeling/indian style seating. The enkai was a 9 course Japanese style dinner complete with lots of sushi. YES. AND! NOMIHOUDAI (ALL YOU CAN DRINK ALCOHOL) WOOHOO. So I wanted to catch up with Steph in how many glasses she`s already drunk, so I ordered about 7 mixed drinks there. After the enkai we went to nijikai (the second enkai/drinking place) which was at a local bar called Bocco. There were about 30 or so of us going to the lil bar which wasn`t big enough to serve all of us and htere was only one guy staffing. But luckily after I had gotten out of the bathroom majority of the people had left to go find some other place to nijikai at.

So there were about just 12 of us left. And so 5 of us decided to get shots. I got a shot of really really rough tequila. My gawd, it was bad. Maybe it`s because I haven`t had hard liquer in a long while, but it was just bad. lol Geez. Even the salt and lemon at the end did nothing. lol And it was a huge shot too, not the puny lil ones at club bars. So, after that we ordered the bartender specialty drinks, which I`m not sure what it was, but it was good, and full of alcohol. lol. I was already pretty tipsy from the 7 glasses of alcohol that I chugged at the first enkai. And I decided to order a tequila shot and 4 more glasses of the specialty drinks at this bar. Yeah...I`m crazy. =P So, needless to say I was already feeling it. I, btw, always carry a deck of cards in my purse in case there is nothing to do when with a group of people and for boredom cases. So, I suggested, "Why not play some king`s cups?" And when the table next to us saw me laying down cards they decided to pull our tables together and make one big game. It was awesome. I got to meet some new people who I`ve never talked to before because of this.

So, for the game, since I`ve been playing it quite recently in Kembuchi (teaching the girls here to play drinking games >D) I know how this game works. But, of course, being as drunk as I was, I could not remember the rules for any of the cards except for the ones that rhyme: like 6=dicks, 3=me, 2=you. So I just made up which activity belonged to what card. I was deigned the game leader, which was totally cool. When people asked me how I rememeber all these cards in my head, I just told them I play this game a lot, when in reality, I was just making shit up as I went. lol I was already kinda drunk so I kept forgetting what card meant what and I`m pretty sure others knew that I was starting to lose it. But I believe I kept up a good front during the whole game. =P Although I know people kept buying me the specialty drinks because I was running low on it each time since I drank a lot. At the time I didn`t think anything of paying because I was so not there. lol But, luckily I rememebred that I had to do that the next day.

Anyways, after finishing the game and we all decided to head out for ramen or go home. All of us were freakin drunk. Yeah. lol Well, I was pretty drunk to the point that I barely remember what was going on, but I was still concious of what I was saying, just not able to control my words. I remember getting into the taxi with Erika and saying obvious and stupid things to the taxi driver because I`m quite the conversationalist when I`m drunk. haha. So I told the taxi driver, "Sorry, we`re a little bit drunk." And he was like "Uh, yeah." And my friend, Erika, just looked at me weird cuz it was pretty obvious. And then I asked "So, do you pick up a lot of drunk people at night?" And he was like "Uh...yes." lol Erika afterwards told me "Uhh, DUH!" eheh. I remember saying stupid things like that, but luckily I kept pretty cool during the game so as to not look so stupid with my peers. haha.

Upon getting to the hotel, I stumbled along holding Erika`s arm for support cuz I knew I was walking funny for sure. It`s the first time I`ve gotten so bad before. Man, those mixed drinks. ~_~; I got back to my room, took a shower, and collapsed on my bed with the world warping around me. Not spinning, warping. lol Everytime I closed my eyes I felt dizzy. So I had to sit up for a while and splash myself with cold water before I could go back to sleep for a bit.

Feb. 21 Sunday

Got up this morning and was still drunk! No headache or anything like that; just dizzy and drunk. We all went down for breakfast. As soon as I put food in my mouth, though, I knew I couldn`t eat. If I ate I would feel nauseous. So I just sat there and drank alot of apple juice and some diced sweet fruit. Because if I ate anything else like eggs or fish or whatever I was gonna throw up. All the other ALTs that morning looked like they also had a pretty rough night of drinking. So everyone was really out of it. haha. I tried to pay back the people who bought me drinks last night, but they said it was fine because I did a good job as a game leader. Whoo! Thank you guys so much! XD So, I guess when I`m drunk, I can play games pretty well. >P I wonder if that works with strip poker or strip anything games. o.O

After breakfast we all checked out and decided to go to the Anpanman shop!! Only to find out that it was too far away and the next bus there did not leave until 1pm. And the taxis would`ve been way too expensive. So we decided to just walk around the area and find a cafe to chill at. And plus I was getting hungry from not eating this morning. eheh. We went to this really cool curry cafe where the guy there spoke really good English. But we ordered green tea ice cream and hot chocolate/coffee. Soon afterwards we headed back to the train station to catch our respective buses and trains back home. And at home I watched Percy Jackson and the Olympians online...which was really not very good at all. I read the book already and was expecting the movie to not really follow the books because of time and other concerns, but it really, really, really did not follow the book at all and was just waaaaaaayyyy different from what I was expecting. Harry Potter did a good job of following it`s reading counterparts as well as LOTR, but Percy Jackson just went way off. I dunno, I didn`t like it and I don`t think it will get as big of a following as HP stil has.

Feb. 15 Monday

So, I know most of you know that I have a thing for one of the elementary teachers at my school, Mr. Wonderful. =) And turns out, he`s leaving in 1 month. He was only here since Septemeber as a replacement teacher for one of the teachers who got pregnant. So after the weekend in Furano I was able to get up my courage and determination to somehow get him to like me. I have 1 month left, what`ve I got to lose? If he doesn`t like me, I won`t see him ever again after 1 month. If he does...well, we`ll see if that will happen or not. Sound reasoning, right?

Today I made up my mind to somehow ask him to teach me how to snowboard...even though I kind of already can. I was lucky enough to catch him alone in his classroom after I had finished teaching 6th period. I "smoothly" transitioned into it. He had mentioned before that he could board, so I asked if he could teach me. He said he wasn`t so good because he learned how to 4 years ago and wasn`t sure if he remembered everything. I thought he was going to tell me that he wasn`t going to be able to teach me, but then he said "If you`re okay with the few amount of info that I know and me being not the best snowboarder around, then I can teach you?" To which I responded, "Oh, yes! It`s totally fine. I can`t board at all!" ...which was a blatant lie...but I`ll somehow make it look like I can`t. eheh. So he said he would try to remember everything and then tell me again later. He then asked me, as I was walking out, if I was going boarding with anyone(Or I thought that was what he asked me, because I got so confused). To which I responded "I think a friend...?" He then seemed to kinda murmer something to which I asked "What?" and he answered "Nothing." ???????

I realized afterwards that I shouldn`t have said that I was going with a friend since I`m actually going to be doing this one on one with him. But I was confused by his question and I was super nervous that my mind was not thinking straight. Whenever I`m around him, my mind goes blank and then I get awkward around him because I`m so nervous that I don`t know what to do. lol

Feb 23 Tuesday

Well, I was going to tell him today after 5th period because I know he`s in his classroom alone. But then, as I was walking over to the classroom I heard a commotion going on in the children`s entryway. I thought that the problem might only take a moment to solve, so I went over to go take a look at what was going on. Turns out that one of my 4th grade boys` pick underneath his snowboot that prevents their shoes from slipping on ice was busted. So I tried to put it back together since he can`t go home without it. It would be dangerous. I spent 15 minutes trying to get the thing back up, only to fail in the end. So I took him and the boot with me to the teacher`s room to see if the head teacher can do anything about it. I spent another 10 minutes with him in there and then I saw Mr. Wonderful come into the room and I knew I could not talk to him anymore. Once they come into the teacher`s room, talk about this kind of leisure stuff is not as easy to talk about anymore. So I really couldn`t do much. I ended up in the school`s health office talking with my friend Yuki who works in there about this. I kept pacing around the room too. haha. She was so distracted by me she couldn`t do her work. Sorry. eheh. =P

So, after having a intense fun conversation with Yuki, I decided that I would somehow tell him tonight via what I had done before. What happened before was, Yuki and I had passed by the elementary school and saw that the lights were still on in the teacher`s room. We knew it was Mr. Wonderful, so after much debating we went to buy snacks at the local conbini and went over to give him the stuff. And that is what I will try again tonight.

Yes, it seems very suspicious and obvious by what I was doing, but I`ll just put it off as something that foreigners do and explain that to him if he asks...lol. So I waited until around 8pm tonight because I knew that most other teachers would`ve gone home by that time. So I went to the school with the food and noticed that there were two cars there and realized that the 5th grade teacher was also there. Luckily, however, Mr. Wonderful was not in the room at the time. I had originally made up a story about how I was coming back from the city next to Kembuchi and passed by the school and saw that the lights were still on. So I decided to buy stuff for you guys since you`re working so hard. THAT was my original story. But I was so f-ing nervous that my Japanese f-ed up and all that came out was "Passed by, lights were on, you guys seemed tired, here (and handed him the bag)." And this was just to my 5th grade teacher yo! lol Geez. I asked if he was the only one here and he said that Mr. Wonderful is still here. He was about to go get Mr. Wonderful, but I said that it was okay and I was just going to leave. He said, "no no, wait. Here." He took out one of the donuts in the bag and gave it to me to take to Mr. Wonderful in his classroom. "You should go and give this to him to let him know you brought all this here. He`d appreciate it." Well, thanks to him I was able to push forward with my plan. Courage, girl, courage.

Well, my heart was thumping as I was walking over to the classroom and trying to go over my lines that I had rehearsed before about how I came to be here. I got over to the room, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door. He was busy hanging up some posters in the room and was surprised to see me. I walked in and my Japanese failed on me again. It went like this, "Passed by, lights were on, doughnut...uh here. Oh and there`s more in the teacher`s room." And I knew I sounded dumb and stupid. lol But he said that he was very happy to recieve it. And I was about to walk away, but then I forced myself to turn around and talk to him about why I really came. So I asked him what he had asked me yesterday about me going with someone. But either he somehow misunderstood my question or he thought I said something else but he answered "No, I haven`t gone with anybody yet." To which I just looked at him confusedly and replied with a "Huh?". And he also did a "Huh?" Then I asked, "Wait, what?" "Uh, sorry, what was your question again?" was his reply. lol We were both so confused with what the other was saying that we just didn`t know what was going on. I felt so stupid, though. Arrgg.

Anyways, I was able to ask him about when he was able to teach me. He said that March would be best. So I`m hoping that means next week as by the end of March all the snow will melt. And I gave a big thank you smile and said "ganbatte kudasai" and left. WHEW! OMG, that was so freaking nervewracking! I was so nervous that I probably was awkward, even though I tried my best to be cool about it. oh, man. Was that all so obvious? I don`t know. I`m just freakin out to whether I was stupid or not. Well, whatever. 1 month left, I`m going for it. Ganbaru-ing. So I will do what I can and if the results aren`t so good, at least I tried. You never know unless you try, right? And you won`t regret not doing it. ^^ So I`m kinda proud of myself for doing it, even if it`s not the most succesful.

Otsukare! More pics will be up soon!

My first exciting experience in a Hostess Club!

Feb. 11 Thursday

So today was supposed to be a day of fun ice skating with my Kembuchi girls. We all gathered at my apt at 8:30am and left to Asahikawa from there. We got to the ice rink, discovered that there were barely any people there and that the skate rental area was closed. I wondered why and decided to ask one of the staff. Apparently there were only hockey games going on today and no general ice skating. Boo! So we came all this way for no skating.

So we decided to leave and go somewhere else and have fun. We ended up going to Sugai to watch movies and go bowling. We first went bowling as there was a lot of time before the movies started, and as usual, I got the lowest score. I did, however, want to play billiards cuz I am quite the fan of it, but no one else wanted to play so I was stuck with bowling. Anyways afterwards we all went to watch our respective seperate movies. Tama-chan, Uno-san, and I went to go watch "Nodame Cantabile" the movie. That was so cute, funny, and interesting. Yay Tamaki Hiroshi! However, the ending just hurt me because it`s supposed to be a continuation to the second movie, but it ended in such a heart wrenching way that when I came out of it I was like "geez..." lol

Afterwards we went down to the 1st floor to take purikura. All the newest purikura machines have this thing where they make your eyes look bigger. My eyes were already pretty huge, so having them made bigger just makes me look alien. lol Afterwards we all decided to go eat at Bikkuri-Donkey. It`s a place that serves excellent hamburg steaks. I had a hamburg steak stuffed with cheese and potato salad. Yes, not the healthiest of things, I know. We talked about ikemen and other stuff and had a grand old time. But we vowed to go back ice skating one day, when the rink is opened to the public. lol

Feb. 12 Friday

So today after work is my Board of Education`s (BOE) group business trip/vacation, which wasn`t really so much a vacation as an enkai. Other depts. in the town hall got to go to the beach, to the mountains, and the lake. We, however, just went to the big city 1 hour from us (Asahikawa, which I always go to for shopping and eating anyways) and have a 1 night stay in the local expensive hotel. *sigh* But I do like staying in hotels, so I didn`t mind so much. However, my BOE and supervisor had told me that they wouldn`t be leaving until 5:30pm. And I was going to get there on time when my supervisor called me and asked where I was. Apparently, everyone had gotten there way earlier than me and were going to leave early. I was the only one who was going to arrive there on time, exactly. When I got there I expected to see my Su there waiting for me, but instead I only saw one car and saw the guy who`s the same age as me waiting by his car.

And I was like "No way, no way. I can`t believe Su and the others did this." This guy, fyi, likes me. Or at least it`s fairly obvious that he does from his actions and of those around him. And I know that the people at the BOE try hard to set him up, most of all, with me. And it`s terrible cuz I don`t like him like that and I don`t see him that way. Su even knows that too! >.< So I felt that this was all set up by them. Leaving earlier than planned and saying that we`d all go together and then leave before I get there to only see him waiting was all just too coincidental for it to have just happened. So I got in the car with him and I could totally feel him being nervous. I was just like, whatever, and chill in the car because I don`t have any feelings or anything for him. But I was a lil uncomfortable because he was nervous. He kept talking to me without stopping, and some of the topics didn`t even make sense or connect when we talked. I just tried to be nice about it and laugh along. He`s a sweet guy, but he`s just not my type. Needless to say, I was glad to finally get to the hotel with everyone after an hour of awkward talking in the car.

The restaurant we went to that night was cool! It was very osahare/stylish. And the food was amazing! I took pictures. And it was all you can drink alcohol. So, naturally, having no need of driving a car, I drank my fill of sake and ume-shuu. Then afterwards we all went to a place called "Pearl". Well, now, this was an experience I think I will not soon forget. When we went to the 7th floor and walked to the door of this place I was awed by the decoration just at the entrance. The borders of the door had large black marble slabs surrounding it and at the top was a bright black background with cream colored writing that said "Pearl". I walked inside, pass the beautiful sexy girl holding the door open for us and welcoming us in, and saw the luxurious ivory colored leather sofas/seats and bottles of alcohol and ice buckets prepared on every white lacquered table and the moody lighting, and I knew, I knew this had to be hostess bar/club. I also saw to my left a bar with middle-aged and old business men sitting across from these beautiful women who sat on the inner side of the bar. They were actively chatting and each guy had one girl to talk to, sometimes 2 if the girls weren`t busy.

The thing is, there were 4 women in our BOE group and I could tell some of them were uncomfortable. I, however, was quite excited, but also uncomfortable because I was with my bosses here. If it was a bunch of us young people I think it would`ve been quite fun and relaxing. I`ve always wanted to try to go to a hostess club to see what it is like. And plus two of my friends are beautiful hostesses. One`s in Tokyo, the other`s in CA. So I`ve always wanted to see how their work was like. After we sat down, I asked my friend Satomi who sat next to me if she knew that this was a hostess bar/club, and she answered no. She said that it was the head boss who suggested this place. o.O Apparently, he comes to hostess bars/clubs quite often. And, apparently, they also went to a hostess club for their dept. business trip last year as well. lol So at the two tables we sat at, each had 2 of us women each. And then, 2 hostesses came and sat at each of their respective tables. Ours was so cute and perfect sized. She had brown long playboy hair, a cute round face, wore a black sort of half jacket, and had on a sexy red dress. I saw her and immediately aspired to look as hot and sexy as that. >D

At first she seemed a little unsure because of the girls at the table, but she seemed to keep calm about everything. The guy my age who sat at my table with Satomi and I seemed a bit nervous since he was sitting next to her and he, obviously, had no experience with hostesses. Actually, he`s a lil feminine in my opinion, and I`m not the only one who thinks that. He just seems kinda timid and not for trying out new things kinda guy. I decided to strike up a conversation with her after semi-listening to my boss talk about his cousin in the states. Her name was Yoshimi-san. She started doing this job at 18 and has been here for 7 years. So I guess right after high school. I told her about my friends also being hostesses and she was surprised to know that there were hostesses outside of Japan too. But she seemed to find it interesting that I had hostess friends. She started asking about CA and how it was like. She works from 7pm to 1am every night and her day and night lifestyle is now completely opposite. But she has fun doing her job.

A couple more business men came in and sat at the other tables around us. And some even had a little room in the back reserved for them. Wow. While I was talking with her I watched her work. She knew the perfect amount for mixing alcohol and water so that it wasn`t too watery and not just pure alcohol flavor. Everytime my drink was halfway, immediately she would take my drink and fill it up. When we ate sweets or snacks laid out for us and we`d leave the wrappers on the table she would, in the blink of an eye, take the wrappers off the table and toss them somewhere out of our sight. Whenever my boss took out a cigarette, she would immediately light up a match ready to light the cigarette. Whenever we came back from the bathroom she would have a warm debacterialized wet towel ready to hand us as soon as we sat down. I was impressed. I knew hostesses were good at what they do, but really watching them do their work? Now, that was impressive. =D

After a while, I was getting tired, and was ready to go back to the hotel to chill. I had so much to drink that night because the hostess kept filling my drink up to the brim everytime it was just halfway. So I was ready to pass out. I went back to my wonderful room and took a nice relaxing long bath. Of which afterwards I passed out on the warm comfortable bed.

Feb. 13 Saturday

Got up for a good early breakfast buffet at the hotel this morning and left with everyone at 8:30am. Yeah. The checkout time was 11am, but because people wanted to leave early and go back to doing more work, we left early. Yes, this is the real reason why our trip was so short and in Asahikawa. Because the people in my BOE wanted to get back to work as soon as possible. THEY WANTED TO DO WORK! So they shortened the trip. Oh Japanese people, why do you work so hard to the point of even refusing vacation time. There were some others who didn`t come because they had work to do even though the head boss also came on the trip meaning that they didn`t have to do the work. Crazy. But I know this is their culture.

I came back home and did a load of absolutely nothing. Woo.

Feb. 14 Sunday

Today was my town`s snow festival. It started at 10am and went until 2pm. I decided to get there around lunch time. It was a beautiful day, so I decided to walk over there. On my walk over I saw lots of ice candle holders. If you placed a candle in them some of them would light up different colors and others would just shine brightly. I was impressed with all this.

Upon arriving at the snow festival I saw the town hall young people`s club and went over to their booth where they were making yakisoba. It was yummy! I then saw my students and went over to them and played with them for a while. A lot of the parents also came over to say hi to me. Some of the women manning the other booths knew who I was and gave me free food too! It was all so deliciuos! And best of all there was takoyaki! I bought alot of the food said goodbye to everyone after half an hour of being at the food booths area and walked over to the back side of the festival to see some of my other students playing on a slide made out of snow. I watched as my students sat on big fat inflatable black tubes and slide down 2 on each tube. It looked so fun. My kids saw me watching them and asked if I wanted to give it a try. Hell yeah I did. So my students said they would hold my stuff for me while I climbed up the stairs made of snow to the top where some of my 1st and 2nd grade babies were chilling. They were all very surprised to see me and were like "THERESA-SENSEI" I told them I`m going to give it a try. And they taught me how to sit on it and then all 4 of them helped to push me down the slide. lol I thought that was cute and funny.

I quite enjoyed the slide down. It was a lil freaky at first but fun. And then I noticed there was a crowd of parents and old people watching me that weren`t there before...hmm...lol Anyways, it was fun and I had a good time. Afterwards I went back to my apt. And chilled for the rest of the day. Good day today and lotsa good food. Oh and there was a pony area with whom the ponies I`ve become good friends with since I pet them and occasionally give them sugar cubes on my summer and fall walks. I really wanted to ride them, but thought that I`d crush them if I got on. lol

Anyways, so that`s all for now. Check out my pics yo! Otsukare!

Snow and Blizzards and Hong Kong?

Feb. 6th Saturday

So today we got up bright and early for breakfast after 3-4 hours of sleep. lol It was actually pretty good, washoku style. We all headed out around 10:30am to catch the train/subway to Otaru. Otaru is the port city next to Sapporo. It`s famous for it`s music boxes, it`s glass, beer, and the Otaru canal. The train there was also really cute. Nice and bright colored inside. We rode along the snowy coast. It was a beautiful site I have to say. When we got there it was snowing pretty hard. But we endured it and walked out and over to the Music Box Museum.

The outside looked like an old brick building with large wooden doors that reminded me vaguely of an old English warehouse. You walked in and immediately the chimes and tinkling of all the music boxes floated into your ears. It made my spirits lift to hear such beautiful sounds and the interior of this place made you feel warm and fuzzy. All the furniture and the floor inside was made of wood that creaked as you walked on it. I actually quite liked that feeling of creaking wood underneath your feet. The lighting was warm and abundant, but not too powerful. And there were blue Christmas lights that hung down from the ceilings. Most beautiful of all were the huge array of assorted music boxes displayed on the wooden tables.

There were boxes that were adorned with flowers and jewelry, carvings of Victorian maidens on the cover, lacquered Japanese style painted boxes, picture frame music boxes that played music when you pulled a string, merry-go-round boxes that spun slowly around while playing music, and ones that had kalaidescopes attached to them so as music played and while looking through the scope the shapes would shift. I thought that the first room alone was amazing and was definitely planning on buying something there, but I told myself to wait until I looked through the whole thing. Everything, however, was around $30. It was quite expensive, but I had to remind myself that these were handmade unique music boxes that you will not find anywhere else and that these were one of the thigns the city was famous for. Besides, they were wonderous and cute looking.

The second room was larger and opened up to high ceilings and had a large shrubbery bear greeting you in. In this room, everything here was geared towards younger children and/or family. Everything was soooo cute and sparkled quite brightly in the warm light. Many of the boxes here were topped with cute Otaru glass figures or just made out of the famous Otaru glass. The room was so colorful and cheerful and the tinkling sounds could just be heard everywhere. I didn`t know where to start so I started to the far left and made my way down came back up towards the middle and ended down the far right lane. They even had music boxes for babies where they were stuffed animals that had music boxes inside them. Most impressive were the shapes of cash registers, motorcycles, cars made out of copper and all were music boxes. They also had ones that were mini ferris wheels or fighter planes suspended by metal filaments that would rotate as music played. Absolutely adorable.

As I was perusing through the aisles I stopped at a particular table that caught my attention. It was actually the least colorful and sparkly of all the other tables and not many people paid too much attention to it as the tables around it held spinning glass figures that would spin around as music played or the sushi music boxes that had realistic sushi models attached to the top of them. On this particular table everything was made of wood and were the color of wood. The one that I was quite fixed on was this thing that looked like a cardboard box that was opened and had 3 carved wooden dogs with their top torso sticking out of the box opening. I turned the knob to play the music and it started playing "My Neighbord Totoro"`s theme song. The dogs in the box swayed left and right in unison to the music. And right then and there, I knew that this was the music box I was buying. There was something nostalgic about it and something that pulled at me when I first laid eyes on it. It made me feel sad and at peace inside at the same time. And hearing the music, I somehow almost cried.

I don`t know why, but lately, upon seeing specific nature scenes here or specific items these feelings come back to me and I feel as if I`ve seen them somewhere before and my chest wells up and a tear will almost escape my eye. Call me crazy, but it feels like for specific areas that I see I feel like I`ve lived there before or there`s something about these things that tugs at me. Vague, barely noticeable images will start playing at the back of my mind, but I can never make it out. Everytime, this will happen: I see these places and then there will be a flash of a second of an image of something happening in these places, but they`re so quick and transparent that I can`t make it out and it just leaves my thoughts later. But then again, I`ve had these feelings back in the states too, but only in specific areas. So maybe I`m just overthinking things and it`s really nothing. But I think from now on, I`ll start keeping records of these things.

But back to the music box museum itself. Sorry for that weird tangent. I still told myself to go look at other things before coming back to buy this one. I went to the 2nd floor and along the wall of the stairs were hung copper figures and sculptures each with a string attached so that when you pull them, they played music. They were absolutely cute and adorable especially the ones with owl carvings. But I had no particular interest in buying one of them. They were unique and amazing though, it`s just I was attached to the the simple cardboard music box. We then looked around more and saw jewelry and the museum side of this place where it showed the history and had the oldest and larges music boxes I`ve ever seen. They even had a music box juke box! That was cool. But afterwards everyone went off to buy what they needed and I headed back down to the first floor to that same table. I bought a music box picture frame that swayed back and forth to the music made from the same wooden materials and with cats on top instead of dogs. And I also bought that cardboard music box. We spent a good 1 1/2 hours in this place and then went back out into the cold to walk to other places.

It was basically blizzarding outside. And cold, really cold because of the wind. We stopped in Le Tao sweets bakery shop. But we didn`t buy anything from these places. We then went to look in on the famous Kitaichi glass shop where they had various glassware and jewelry displayed throughout the place. We went back outside and went into the Venetian glass museum. Now that was cool. They had glass pens that you would dip into ink to write with. And glass animals and even a Venetian boat in the middle of the room. heh. Then we started heading over to the canal where the Otaru Beer factory was.

We were hungry and cold, so once we got in it was such a relief to sit down in the warm room. The place looked like a German beer hall with large copper machinese that brewed beer in the center of the room. All the waitresses were in somewhat strange looking barmaid outfits. It didn`t feel like we were in Japan anymore, especially with my company of awesome foreigners. haha. So we ordered the famous Otaru beer and I got the special of the season, the Bermberger. The glass was huge and thick and the beer was good. We also ordered food, food that we couldn`t get in normal Japanese restaurants. I got myself a steak plate with fries, salad, and garlic rice. My friends got dark pretzels that tasted so deliciously good, and there were also canellonis and some kind of interesting bread roast. I took a picture of it if you look at the pics on facebook. Oh, and while we were eating you could see groups of people getting tours of the factory. THis place is half factory half restaurant. lol

After that we braved the cold again to go outside to see the canal at night. It was very pretty, but sadly, because the wind was so strong outside the candles that were floating in the river were mostly all blown out. And it was so crowded it was hard to see some of the sculptures made to hold candles. But it was pretty nonetheless. Afterwards we walked back to the Otaru station and boarded the train and went on back to Sapporo. In Sapporo we went back to the yuki matsuri since the weather seemed better and it wasn`t closed. So we walked around, bought some wonderful food, drank amazake, and watched shows. THen the weather turned bad and we decided to head on back to the hotel. We originally wanted to go clubbing and everything, but majority of us were really tired and exhausted. Apparently, for everyone, this entire week was quite tiring. So when everyone came, they were already all ready to pass out. =( But at least we were able to be in a group and chill with each other.

That night we passed out, and I was able to get the bed this time. Yay!

Feb. 7th Sunday

Got up at 8:30 for breakfast and met up with Collin and his gf there. They finally got up for breakfast. haha. Anyways, we all decided today to just chill around Sapporo. Since Collin`s gf had to go check in another hotel, we decided to split up for lunch and then meet back up at odorikoen. Steph, Erika, and I went for lunch at an Omurice place. We all got hamburg doria omurice. It was good, but we weren`t able to get extra sauce. boo...We sat and talked for a while and then went to the yuki matsuri to meet up with them.

At the yuki matsuri I was able to get a picture with our amazing mascot, Marimokkori. He`s the ball of algea with an erection and perverted happy face. lol Look at my pics for him. hehe. I love this mascot. Whoever thought it up is a genius. Who would`ve ever thought of an algea ball having an erection eh? >D

So we met up and walked around seeing the sculptures we weren`t able to see before when it was blizzarding at night and stuff. We saw a couple of awesome international snow sculptures because there was a competition going on there. It was pretty cool as there were people from all over the world there building these things. We then went to eat some international foods. We got stuff from Brazil and Greece. Nummers.

After that we headed back to Sapporo station to chill at a starbucks before I headed off first to get my train back home.

Otsukare for reading guys! Sorry about that weird random exerpt. Look at the pictures!

A weekend to look forward to.

Jan. 30th Saturday

Yay snowboarding day! Today I went to pick up Alan after going to buy a super cute stomp pad for my board. The pad`s this super cute looking blue bear. I love it! ~_~ But of course I had to wait 24 hours after putting it on my board to be able to use it. So I didn`t use the pad that day because I was gonna go boarding. I figured if I got on the lifts I`d just do something. Alan told me to just hop off when I get to the top. But it still freaked me out a little to think I`ll be riding the lift this time. I like high places and am not scared of them, but snowboarding down them when I barely know how to board? Freaky. So when we got there some of my lil nursery babies were inside the rest area. When they saw me they were like "O! Theresa-sensei da!" I knew that I was gonna see at least one of them while here. I am only in the town next to mine which has the closest ski hill to my town, so I figured my kids would be here too. When they saw Alan they were a little taken aback as I`m pretty sure they don`t see too many foreigners who are caucasian as I`m the only foreigner most of them have had contact with and I`m not so different looking from them. However, the surprising thing is they weren`t scared of him or shy around him like I thought they`d be. They still came and sat next to me or him and started talking (in Japanese lol). Although they would show off how much English they knew of which I felt so proud.

So Alan told me that the only way to learn is to get up on the lift, as I`ve heard from many others say the same thing. The ride up the lift was amazing actually. It was so beautiful and the weather was so nice. The higher we got the better the view. So once I got to the top, I hopped off the lift with my board attached to my feet and managed not to fall over. And then I had to sit down and put my board on because I was still not used to putting it on while standing. But standing up after that was extremely difficult as I wasn`t really on a hill yet just the flat area before getting to the hill. Standing up is much easier when on a slant. So I basically walked to the edge of the hill with just half my board on. lol It was pretty difficult and really worked my leg muscles so that they kinda cramped...

So finally when I got over to the top edge and looked over, the view was breathtaking and amazingly beautiful! I could see the town of Wassamu stretched out on the horizon and white glittering snow and the afternoon sun shining over the town. Beautiful. However, once I looked down that beautiful scene went to the back of my mind and I just went blank and freaked a little. The hill from the bottom didn`t look so bad, but from the top it was freaking steep! I didn`t know what to do. Alan said that we`ll start out slow and try going down inch by inch of which I wasn`t too sure I could do because I wasn`t so sure of my abilities yet. But the first time we went down it was just a warm up to get me to remember my abilities. After that everything started to get better. A couple of middle schoolers from Wassamu town were there too and they started talking to Alan. I was just the Asian person. lol Anyways, I saw more of my kids as the afternoon went on. Finally, I was able to board down the hill without falling and discovered that I leaf instead of carve. Well, I`ll learn how to carve later. Right now, if I can leaf my way down and not fall, I`ll stick with that for now. hehe. =)

At the end of the day around 5pm, Alan got on the train and went home. I had a dinner date with wonderfully cute Yuki. We had so much trouble deciding where to eat, but in the end, since she hasn`t been to Myu we decided to go there. Her leg seems to be getting better after she ripped a tendon in her achilles heel (I think). We talked alot that night and had so much fun. Actually, the only not cool thing she told me was that Mr. Wonderful is actually leaving this March for another school. And he just came to Kenbuchi in September like me! >.< That sucks! So she told me that I only had 2 months left to talk to him and try to get him. I dunno, 2 months is kinda short and I`m not ready to confess to him or anything like that. lol In the end I figured the best thing to do is to just get his email address under the guise of if he wants to practice his English with me. =P But that was all. I haven`t really had too much of a chance to talk to him. So it`s been difficult. Ah well. Hopefully the guy who comes after him, if it is a guy at all, will be better and hotter. lol

Jan. 31 Sunday

Today is the Sapporo Farmer`s Philharmonic Orchestra concert as well as the town mini-volleyball tournament. I heard Mr. Wonderful is going to be in the volleyball thing so I decided to go watch. Of course I also knew my supervisor and my girls that I hang with are also going to be in it. They divided the game areas into two gyms. One for those who are over 30 years old and then there is the one for those under 30. So a couple, not many, of my teachers were in the older one. But majority of my teachers are young so they were all at the young people`s court. So when I first got in I saw my girls standing up on the balcony overlooking the games. I went up to say hi to them and then I noticed all the teachers sitting at the bottom. When it was the male teachers of the middle school and elementary`s turn it was hot. All the guys are young and good looking and fit. They were the best looking male group out of all the groups there. Yes, some of them were pretty skinny, but you can tell they do sports. Mr. Wonderful in just his t-shirt and trackpants looked hot because you could totally see his body shape. He isn`t skinny and scrawny but lean and muscular/tone. And all the male teachers were fierce in the game. Immediately they won each round and in the end came in 2nd. My girls, however, not being the sporty kind and used to just office work lost almost every game. lol I love them still.

Afterwards I went back to get ready for the concert at 1:30. I arrived there and there was barely anyplace to park. So I spent 10 minutes trying to find a parking spot. I saw a couple of my students there too. When the orchestra began with the start of the cello/bass starting off "William Tell" I immediately sunk into a different world. Damn, do I miss classical music and their concerts. I actually quite like classical. I listen to it when I go to sleep back in the states as it soothes my mind and helps me study or learn better. The sweet melody of the violin mixing with the oboes and the fagottos and even the trumpets brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me of my life back at home and a life I could lead. Through this concert it strengthened my resolve to make my dreams a reality and strive to create my company and become it`s owner. So I felt pretty damn good after the concert even though there were times I did feel pretty sleepy because they started playing the more mellow slower music and that`s usually what I listen to when I sleep. But they did play Carmen as well! Awesome.

Feb. 5 Friday

I was let off early today to catch the train to the Yuki Matsuri or snow festival in Sapporo. At the station I ran into my middle school`s health nurse. We talked for a little while until I had to get off at the next stop to wait 20 minutes for the rapid service train to arrive. I got on and sat next to this awesomely nice old man who helped to put my stuff up on the rack above even though I could`ve done it myself since it was so light. The trains were all 5 minutes late because of the blizzard going on. But since this is Japan and these were Hokkaido trains they wouldn`t stop the train because of some snow and they would usually never be late except for these reasons or suicides. So yes, I arrived about 5-10 minutes late and left my friends wondering what`s going on because I believe they know too that trains in Japan are usually never late and that I should`ve been there already. haha.

Boy was I glad to see my friends who I haven`t seen in 2 months. I mean I totally have friends in my lil town but they were all Japanese people who didn`t speak much English and I could never be my weird joking self around them lest I ruin my good teacher`s image. And believe me, in this little town where everyone knows who you are, you cannot do anything bad or stupid. Always have to keep up a good image because you teach the whole town`s children. And plus I just miss being my crazy self without restrictions of sorts. And these friends of mine are like a piece of home to me. And being cooped up in my lil town for several months I was desperate to go out and chill in a different place with different people. I like my job and all, but it really takes a toll on your mental strength, especially if your in a small country town like mine. I love being in the country however, don`t get me wrong, it`s just many things pile up and living away in a different country away from all your old friends and family where you have to always keep up an image and cannot be your total self all the time is hurting me a little. I think that maybe it`s just the winter season and I`m pretty sure that by summer/spring I`ll be bright as a rainbow. But for now, this is what I`m feeling. Boo...

So back on track, I met my friends and we decided to go check into the hotel first. We were all a little worried that it was going to be sketchy and a love hotel or something. So were quite relieved to see such a nice place. The room is a lil small, but it was big enough for 3 of us girls to cram into. Erika hadn`t come yet though since she couldn`t come until later in the evening. So we first decided to go out to eat at Sapporo Station. We ate at "The Don" lol. I love the name. It was just a bunch of rice bowls with katsu, oyakodon, katsudon, gyudon, and the like. It was good though. I got a katsudon with mini curry Udon set. So good! We hung around there for awile and then went to meet up with Erika who had just arrived. Yay! We put her stuff in the station lockers and then went to the Yuki Matsuri in Odorikoen.

It was beautiful! And very very awesome! ALthough the weather was not for the best and everything was actually closed. So nothing was lit up. Couldn`t see too much. So we decided to head to an izakaya for drinks and stuff. We ended up sitting next to this super hot group of young Japanese guys who I believed were hosts since all of them seem to have the same hairstyle and were pretty fashionable and were all really hot. lol But they were all pretty drunk and one of them was passed out. haha. After 2 hourse we decided to head back to the hotel. But first, we had to go back to the station to getErika`s luggage. So Collin and his gf went back first and I went with Steph and Erika to retrieve it. However, the station looked pretty dark upon arrival and realized that it was closed. We missed it by 15 minutes. Damn! But still we didn`t give up hope, we walked all the way to the other side and discovered that the lights were on, but the outside doors were locked. Man.

So we decided to give up on this one and went back to the hotel for the night and just get her stuff tomorrow. We got in the room, played "rock, paper, scissors" for who got to sleep on the bed and who on the floor and I ended up being the one on the floor. lol It actually wasn`t that bad as I was lent Steph`s wonderful electric heating blanket. Thanks Steph! We spent the night talking and making fun of things on TV until 4am and then went to sleep to get up in 4 hours for breakfast. lol

Anyways, I will continue more of this in my second posting of Yuki matsuri. Otsukare! Pictures of this and the trip to the Sounkyou hot springs/ice festival will be posted. Love you all!